When Life Falls Apart

by Jason Kunen

Why do we put up psychological resistance? Is it not because of fear? There is a change of some sort, and we resist this new situation. We judge and evaluate this new circumstance. But judgments are only out of comparison; you can only judge and evaluate a thing in relation to something else, and the measure against which we compare this new situation is the known, which is of the past.

When our primary mode of being is grounded in ego-mentalism, we cling to the past, to the known. As we observed in the article On Conformity, Fear of the Known, and Discussing Matters of Life, there is never fear of the unknown, for how can we fear that which we do not know? There is fear, however, of losing the known, more specifically, the psychological security that comes with attachment to the known.

When we resist, it is a clear sign that our ego, the projected image of an identity constructed from memories and conditionings, is afraid of something. The ego identity naturally clings to the past and to the known because it lives and functions in that. Facing that which it does not know means it will have to die to what it is now in order to change and adapt. So it will resist against the unknown, against death, against anything which endangers the illusion of psychological comfort.

If we pay attention, and are sensitive to these mental habits, we will discover that we are not our ego. We are so much more than this projected, constructed image, but its narrow lens objectifies and constricts even the reality of ourself. By clinging to the past, we don’t fully meet the present, and the future is merely a projection based on the known in accordance with our disposition. Of course, planning for the future has practical applications, but it must be remembered that it is only an image, an idea, and that everything is subject to change. Therefore, it is an expenditure of energy to cling or attach to an idea, a projection.

It is as though the cocoon of the caterpillar is breaking apart because the butterfly fully evolved, but clinging to the past is like the butterfly desperately trying to save the cocoon, despite the cocoon’s imminent destruction. It has the opportunity to break free and fly, but instead, chooses to focus on the danger, the fear, and what it knows. When things fall apart, perhaps consider that they’re actually falling into place.

When you resist, be completely aware of it. Don’t try to convince yourself intellectually, or dismiss the feeling. There is something crucial happening, and forcing or suppressing is self-destructive. Hold that moment of resistance with awareness, as you would hold a delicate flower in your palm. Discover the underlying reasons of why this resistance is there. Is your fear of not accomplishing something, getting a job, being successful, etc., because there is the fear of failure? Do you fear failure because deep down, you fear being nothing, that you did not become something? Society has drilled you to be single-minded on pursuing success, wealthy, famous, and all the rest of it, and if you fail, you feel you are worthless, because you did not become this or that person you were conditioned to idolize. No one can become another! To be your ((true Self)) is the greatest gift you can give to humanity.

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Here is a great book by my good friends Martha Randolph and Elizabeth Campbell that discusses spiritual evolution in a clear and simple manner. I highly recommend it, especially to young persons interested in spiritual topics. It is called, That Which Is.

I also recommend reading the book Navigating the Mazeway: Fulfilling our Best Possibilities As Individuals and As a Society, by my good friend and colleague Tony Parrotto. Here is a link to his website, The Mazeway Project.

Being a Lotus in the Mud: The Art of Living with Awareness