suffering | Being a Lotus in the Mud: The Art of Living with Awareness

March 24, 2014

Ethics and Interdependence – The Shift from /I==It/ to ((I==Thou))

With the plurality of worldviews, religions, philosophies, and interpretive frameworks easily accessible through technology, it is clear that we need to reexamine our position on ethics in relation to the present, global age. It seems that many people have taken a relativistic stance on ethics, perhaps primarily due to the fact that being able to Dialogue across worldviews and frameworks is not a common skill, and therefore few know how to coherently integrate and understand multiple perspectives, particularly where religion is invovled.

What I would like for us to examine together is whether we can have secular ethics based on the common ground of experience, without relying on any religious, philosophical, or abstract metaphysical proposition. Let us start completely clear, with no motive to prove one idea over another or arrive at any particular conclusion.

Ethics is not an isolated abstract idea, but occurs in relationship. Life is constituted of relationships: to people, nature, objects, ideas, images, thoughts, emotions, and so on. As Krishnamurti says, “to be is to be related.” Ethics, therefore, is the conduct we embody within these roles and relationships.

So, if we are to examine the way in which we conduct ourselves in relationship, a natural starting point would be to first observe who is the self that is in these relationships. If we consider the image we have of ourselves, what is it that we find? Is it not the accumulation of memories, conditionings, and knowledge about ourselves? This is not according to the philosophy of someone else or of the author; you can see this for yourself if there is curiosity to inquire, without forcing oneself to arrive at an answer. If the image we have of ourselves is the collection of memories and details about ourselves, is this not a definition? This is an attempt to define ourselves.

However, to define oneself involves cutting oneself off from everything that one is not, or at least, it appears that there is a separation. If I want to define myself, to wear all kinds of religious, political, national, economic, racial, ethnic labels, do I not need to create a gap between that which is ‘me’ and that which is not ‘me’? If I call myself a Catholic or a Buddhist, or a Democrat or a Republican, doesn’t this separate myself from all others who are not wearing the same label? It is this process of separation that is the cause of conflict and violence. We are not saying that politics, or religion, or some other thing is the cause of problems. The real troublemaker is the habit of our mind to buy into the illusion of definition, of separation.

In order to define something, one needs to separate oneself from the thing one is trying to describe. Definition requires some thing is singled out in an attempt to classify it. But this process involves objectifying that which is on the screen of awareness, thereby creating a distinction between the observer and the observed. This division causes further conflict, however, we shall not go into detail of that at the present time, but if one is interested, Jiddu Krishnamurti has much to say on that subject.

In other words, we are using a mental software that is programmed to objectify all experience and life in an attempt to classify and analyze it. We can call this an /I==It/ way of minding. Of course this has its use, but we have been conditioned to apply this to all aspects of our life, particularly our psychological life, and this creates much suffering and mental anguish. When something is seen as separate from us, as an ‘other,’ and something lesser, do we not mistreat, misuse, or act against it? If one looks at this habit of mind closely, one will realize that it is when we objectify, that we cause harm to others. Thus, this /I==It/ technology of mind is destructive in our relationships.

When we become aware and understand this process, that is the very action needed to ((rehabilitate)) the mind. In the understanding that the image of ourselves, definitions, and the objectifying nature of our /mind/ is an illusion brought on by thought and conditioning, we begin to develop a sense that all things are interconnected. To break that /cycle/ not through force or discipline but by awareness, sensitivity, and understanding, we ((See)) Life and Reality as undivided from ourselves. Is this not echoed throughout our wisdom teachings from across the ages? To love one another as oneself…is this not one of the crux of the teachings of many of our great teachers?

By breaking this conceptual prison through awareness, understanding, and curiosity to look at ourselves, we shift from an /I==It/ technology to an ((I==Thou)) technology of mind. Such a ((transformation)) is to see the Sacredness of all Life, of all Reality. In that way, how could we possibly even think of harming another? When you are aware that you are the world and the world is you, one directly perceives that to cause harm to another is to cause suffering to oneself. To make the leap from /I==It/ to ((I==Thou)) is to affect the entire web of relationships.

If one inquires into what real relationship is very seriously, one will find that one’s individual consciousness is in fact, not at all individual! If we know how to look at the anger, frustration, desire, hope, jealously, greed, confusion, uncertainty, insecurity, acquisitiveness, competitiveness, comparison, conflict, loneliness, the craving to become something, the search for something greater, moments of joy, the clinging to those memories of happiness and wanting to repeat it, and so on, within ourselves, we can recognize that this is the ground of the human experience…it is a shared experience common to all humankind. So, when we inquire into these matters, we are really looking into the consciousness of all humankind.

Ethics, therefore, is when ((right relationship)), ((I==Thou)), is one’s being, and it affects all of our relations. One understands, not intellectually, but through one’s heart-and-mind, that any separation between oneself and anything or anyone else is only an illusion of thought. Therein lies the foundation of compassion. That which is unethical comes to be when live from a place of /I==It/, whereby we perpetuate conflict, violence, division, and and so on.

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February 17, 2014

The Game of Life – Don’t Take it Personally

We have become so caught up in playing the game of life that we have confused playing the game with really living itself. When we are obsessed with what masks we wear to show the world, it is no wonder that we are an age of judgment, anxiety, and self-importance out of fear.

What do I mean when I say “playing the game of life?” It is the daily struggles, the conflict, the pain, loneliness, anger, frustration, desire, judgment, self-consciousness, anxiety, and concern with our self-image and how we appear to others. How many masks do we wear everyday? And is seems that we have become so accustomed with putting up a facade that we ourselves come to believe this very illusion.

These masks are constructed based on ideas of ourselves, the images we believe other people have of us, the memories, experiences, psychological scars, and our conditionings. But wearing a mask constricts your vision. Psychologically, retaining this image we have of ourselves and others limits what we see and how we interact in the world. When you carry around an image of yourself all the time, you naturally set yourself up to be hurt, anxious, lonely, and frustrated, and counteract such feelings by trying to build up even more self-importance. In putting oneself on a pedestal, there will naturally be a fear of falling off it.

We crave psychological security and comfort, which leads us to cling to what we know, to the story we tell ourselves everyday, in order to have some kind of certainty. But nothing is static, and therefore, there is always the constant threat of insecurity. Certainly, we need memories and experiences in order to function in the world, carry out various responsibilities, and perform at our job, but we must ask ourselves, is this all that there is? Because we feel that outside of playing this game there is nothing, we feel fear and uncertainty, as though there is an empty void waiting to swallow us into nothingness. The more we feel such psychological fear of letting go, the more we realize how much we are psychologically dependent on the known. And in fact, what we really fear is not an actual void itself, but merely an idea in our mind that we have of it…the fear we have is of not wanting to let go of the known.

So, if you are at all interested in this sort of inquiry, be aware of your mental habits, your relationships, your interactions, your judgments, and your mental attitude while playing the game of life. If you are sensitive, if you’re really curious, you will see how absurd it is to take life seriously and personally. This is not a claim that we should waive our responsibilities, disregard courtesy, or have the right to do whatever we wish…that is thinking immaturely.

It is simply to say that we take the game of life so seriously, so personally, that we accumulate more and more baggage and scars, and because we have been hurt in the past, we try to control and shape the future according to our desires to we don’t get hurt again. We fall into a vicious cycle of pursuing pleasure and avoiding pain. Such thinking prevents us from learning various lessons in life, and enjoying things as they. Whether life is a tragedy or a comedy is largely a matter of one’s mental attitude.

I am contemplating making follow up videos on Youtube to these posts. If you think that would be helpful and interesting, let me know. I am also open to suggestions for topics.

If you like these posts, please share them with others. There are links to share this on Facebook, Twitter, WordPress, and others below. Many thanks!

When Life Falls Apart – Last week’s post

Navigating the Mazeway: Fulfilling our Best Possibilities As Individuals and As a Society, by Tony Parrotto

The Mazeway Project

That Which Is, by Martha Randolph and Elizabeth Campbell

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January 29, 2014

When Life Falls Apart

Why do we put up psychological resistance? Is it not because of fear? There is a change of some sort, and we resist this new situation. We judge and evaluate this new circumstance. But judgments are only out of comparison; you can only judge and evaluate a thing in relation to something else, and the measure against which we compare this new situation is the known, which is of the past.

When our primary mode of being is grounded in ego-mentalism, we cling to the past, to the known. As we observed in the article On Conformity, Fear of the Known, and Discussing Matters of Life, there is never fear of the unknown, for how can we fear that which we do not know? There is fear, however, of losing the known, more specifically, the psychological security that comes with attachment to the known.

When we resist, it is a clear sign that our ego, the projected image of an identity constructed from memories and conditionings, is afraid of something. The ego identity naturally clings to the past and to the known because it lives and functions in that. Facing that which it does not know means it will have to die to what it is now in order to change and adapt. So it will resist against the unknown, against death, against anything which endangers the illusion of psychological comfort.

If we pay attention, and are sensitive to these mental habits, we will discover that we are not our ego. We are so much more than this projected, constructed image, but its narrow lens objectifies and constricts even the reality of ourself. By clinging to the past, we don’t fully meet the present, and the future is merely a projection based on the known in accordance with our disposition. Of course, planning for the future has practical applications, but it must be remembered that it is only an image, an idea, and that everything is subject to change. Therefore, it is an expenditure of energy to cling or attach to an idea, a projection.

It is as though the cocoon of the caterpillar is breaking apart because the butterfly fully evolved, but clinging to the past is like the butterfly desperately trying to save the cocoon, despite the cocoon’s imminent destruction. It has the opportunity to break free and fly, but instead, chooses to focus on the danger, the fear, and what it knows. When things fall apart, perhaps consider that they’re actually falling into place.

When you resist, be completely aware of it. Don’t try to convince yourself intellectually, or dismiss the feeling. There is something crucial happening, and forcing or suppressing is self-destructive. Hold that moment of resistance with awareness, as you would hold a delicate flower in your palm. Discover the underlying reasons of why this resistance is there. Is your fear of not accomplishing something, getting a job, being successful, etc., because there is the fear of failure? Do you fear failure because deep down, you fear being nothing, that you did not become something? Society has drilled you to be single-minded on pursuing success, wealthy, famous, and all the rest of it, and if you fail, you feel you are worthless, because you did not become this or that person you were conditioned to idolize. No one can become another! To be your ((true Self)) is the greatest gift you can give to humanity.

If these posts are helpful and interesting, please subscribe, like, and comment on the Dia-blog, and share the articles with others. There are links to share this on Facebook, LinkedIn, Twitter, WordPress, and others below. Many thanks!

Here is a great book by my good friends Martha Randolph and Elizabeth Campbell that discusses spiritual evolution in a clear and simple manner. I highly recommend it, especially to young persons interested in spiritual topics. It is called, That Which Is.

I also recommend reading the book Navigating the Mazeway: Fulfilling our Best Possibilities As Individuals and As a Society, by my good friend and colleague Tony Parrotto. Here is a link to his website, The Mazeway Project.

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January 22, 2014

Making the Ordinary Extraordinary – The Desire to Become – Life as it is

“A mind that is becoming can never know the full bliss of contentment; not the contentment of smug satisfaction; not the contentment of an achieved result, but the contentment that comes when the mind sees the truth in what is and the false in what is. The perception of that truth is from moment to moment; and that perception is delayed through verbalization of the moment.” -Jiddu Krishnamurti, The First and Last Freedom

What begins to happen as we grow out of childhood? Many of us become more and more controlling do we not? We are conditioned and led to believe that happiness exists outside of us, and that if we can control as many external factors as possible, then we shall be happy. There develops an incessant drive to shape life according to our own projections and desires. Society floods us with people who should be idolized and become our role models. Whether those people are celebrities, spiritual figures, politicians, businessmen, gurus, the rich, intellectuals, saints, and so on, it is conditioning us to seek something outside of ourselves and become someone else. This leads us to feel inadequate with ourselves, and that we should strive to become like another. We then go through life constantly seeking, trying to change ourselves, not seeing or understanding our own life. Life becomes a series of elaborate escapes from what is and who we are. And of course, when desire is obstructed, when we realize that we can never be another, we react with anger, or sadness, or jealously, and feel hurt in someway. This leads to deep suffering, because not only do we have difficulty looking or understanding ourself, but we realize that we have been wasting our time trying to be like another.

We are taught to believe that once we can control things, or fulfill our ambitions, or get this or that job or position, or have unparalleled wealth, or reach enlightenment, or find inner peace, or have this or that experience, or become virtuous, or transform our life, and so on, then we shall be happy. And how many times have we reached our goal and happiness has not yet come? Or conversely, we realize that we cannot achieve our goal, and we feel depressed because we could not live up to or become this image we had of ourselves or of another.

Whether inwardly or outwardly, the process of becoming, of searching for something greater, leads us further and further away from ourselves. We become interested in self-projected abstractions than in reality and how we are living. For one reason or another, we are afraid, or unsure of how to look and understand ourselves, and so constantly indulge in escapes instead of really facing life as it is. Thus, the challenges of everyday life are seen as boring and insignificant. Instead, we try to find comfort by projecting or imagining some greater reality that will entertain and gratify our desires.

One might argue, “why not strive to emulate figures like the Dalai Lama, the Pope, Mother Theresa, or some other religious figure? They embody very admirable virtues. Should we not follow their example?” However, if you try to live up to a virtue, is it not because you are the exact opposite of it, and are trying to escape from it? That is, if I am trying to be non-violent, isn’t it because I myself am violent? Or if I am trying to be generous, is it not because I am greedy? We create ideals, virtues, based on our own image of what we think it is, and use it as a way to escape from our own mental habits. This creates a conflict within ourselves, as we are now torn between what is, and this projected ideal we strive towards. In this division, fear (of failure), guilt, shame, regret, and various emotions take root.

This kind of becoming, the pursuit of virtues, is an elaborate form of escapism, and very self-deceptive. We deceive ourselves through such ideals because we convince ourselves and others that although we may be violent, greedy, jealous, angry, and the like, we strive to live up to this or that ideal or virtue. And a theme in our current education system, particularly the way history is taught (at least in America), is that of progress. We are continuously fed this idea that we are ever improving, developing, cultivating, progressing, etc., which thereby encourages us to become. And though we have advanced technologically, we are still psychologically immature. So, instead of really looking at ourselves with an interest in Self-knowledge, we try to seek and strive towards something else.

It is not a matter of being content or passively (or perhaps, apathetically) accepting these states. We must first be willing to understand ourselves, to look at the violence, anger, jealous, greed, and the rest of it in ourselves, and how it arises. Through observing our mental habits, through non-judgmental awareness, we can understand these reactions and this desire to become. As I said in Changing the World Starts with Understanding Yourself, this understanding naturally brings about action in accordance with that understanding. Therefore, a ((transformation)) does not come about through any effort of the /self/, or the /ego/, which desires some result or achievement, but naturally through Self-knowledge.

Certainly, we can learn from others, and let their actions be a wake up call to reflect on ourselves and our own mental life. However, to follow them is to give up one’s own responsibility for understanding oneself. In this way, we disempower ourselves to another. No one can give you Self-knowledge. Understanding comes from oneself, when the mind is quiet without force, and you are non-judgmentally aware from moment-to-moment without interfering. Dropping the desire to become does not mean laziness or apathy or submission. This too is a conditioned thought our society ingrains in us. If people understood themselves, and were comfortable with who they are, think about how many professions (from the celebrity magazines and cosmetic stores to the psychiatrist and plastic surgeon) would be out of business! Think about how many corporations make a profit by exploiting this desire to become.

Through awareness, we can see this desire to become within ourselves. And the desire to drop it is also a desire to become. Being, abiding, learning to be…this comes by itself when we understand this desire to become in our own inner life as a fact, not as a theory or a belief. But again, this is not does imply apathy or laziness. Out of ((Being)) comes integrated action and right thinking, because now, our actions are no longer according to some ideal, idea, or belief motivated out of becoming. Action based on becoming is conflict, because it creates a separation between the actor, the action, the reason for acting, and the ideal for which we are trying to achieve through our action. But action out of ((Being)) is ((integrated action)); it is whole, complete, and co-arises with understanding.

In ((Being)), we see life in a whole new way. The everyday activities that we once saw boring and insignificant, and the day-to-day challenges that may seem frustrating and monotonous are encountered in a new light. It is not that the ordinary becomes extraordinary, but rather, we see that our idea of the extraordinary was a self-projected illusion, and that the ordinary is extraordinary. Life is then a beautiful movement; a dance of a warrior who is free, joyous, creative, and not controlled by fear. That is the meaning of the Zen expression, “Before enlightenment, chop wood and carry water. After enlightenment, chop wood and carry water.”

It is because we lack Self-knowledge that we suffer. And it is because we are taught to follow and become like others that we are distracted from understanding ourselves. And it is because we don’t know how to live that we are taught to emulate others. And it is because we were not educated to observe and understand our fears and insecurities that we don’t know how to live.

There is much to say on the role of fear and the desire to become, but we shall discuss this topic at another time. The following posts cover some of the topics in this article: fear, boredom, happiness.

On Boredom

On the Nature of Happiness

On Free Will – Awareness and the Power of Choice

On Destiny, Meaning, Purpose, and Fear (Part 1)

On Destiny, Meaning, Purpose, and Fear (Part 2)

On Conformity, Fear of the Known, and Discussing Matters of Life

On Uncertainty

Link to my book, Meditations on Zen and Martial Arts Philosophy

Jiddu Krishnamurti’s Book, The First and Last Freedom – On Amazon or Online

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December 18, 2013

Changing the World Starts with Understanding Yourself

Courtesy of http://www.flower-images.net/purple-water-lily

As we saw in the post, A Call to ((Action)), there are a number of issues that humanity faces today that threatens our survival, and some which will have cataclysmic effects on our planet. In several ((Dia-blog)) posts, we investigated that the cause of our problems is /ego-mentalism/, that is, we are conducting our mind from a self-oriented, self-centered, objectifying, and fragmented framework. When we use this mental operating system, we take ourself to be the center of existence and the basis for experience, and contrast it with everything outside of us. We objectify and cut ourself off from everything else. This creates the distinction between “I” and “not I,” which leads to constantly comparing, judging, evaluating, and creating more and more divisions. Thus, all dialogue, experience, interaction, relationship, ideas, and emotions are filtered through our conditionings, memories, thoughts, prejudices, opinions, beliefs, judgments, reactions, and experiences (all these things which comprise the /self/, the /ego/, the /“me”/, our /story/). Because of that, we rarely encounter moments when we are free of our /self/. But through this ((Dia-blog)) we are discovering together if there is a way we can encounter and experience things ((as they are)) in a fresh, present, and creative way.

We have also been investigating the fact that we are as we mind. That is, the world is a reflection of how we are conducting our minds. Our way of minding is projected into the outer world. Therefore, if we wish to change the world, we must start with ourself, with our own inner life. Why? Because without understanding ourselves, our psychological process, our actions will perpetuate the cycle of /ego-mentalism/, of /objectification/ and /violence/. If you are full of conflict, jealously, anger, hatred, self-centeredness, whatever it is, could your actions in the world reflect differently? We will be stuck in /reactions/, not creatively responding to the experience, interaction, or problem. (For more on this, please refer to the posts On Psychological Freedom and On Relationships).

But how does one go about doing this? To change ourselves, don’t we need to understand what it is we’re changing from? It is vital to understand the /ego-mental patterns and habits/ within ourselves. Through non-judgmental awareness, we can watch our reactions, thoughts, emotions, clinging, anger, hatred, and the rest of it. We can simply watch unobtrusively; once we start judging, condemning, justifying, and interfering, it means we are trying to escape the fact of what we are because we are afraid to look at ourselves. If you learn to observe yourself in this non-judgmental manner, with an interest and an openness to see what you are, then you begin to understand yourself, and a change happens naturally. I recommend a book by Osho called Awareness: The Key to Living in Balance.

Changing oneself is not a matter of creating ideals or following a belief system. When you have ideals (non-violence, compassion, courage, kindness, temperance, etc.) and try to live up to them, doesn’t that mean you are in conflict because you are the opposite of that ideal? If I am trying to be non-violent, doesn’t that mean I am trying to change myself because I am violent? Creating this ideal in your mind puts you in conflict with your idea (which is really just an image rooted in your thoughts and memories of what you believe it is), and your actual, everyday experience. That is why I am not an idealist. Ideals create conflict, and are an elaborate way to escape from what you are by trying to live up to some belief in your mind. Instead, through awareness we begin to understand our psychological process and our /ego-mental habits/, and with understanding, one naturally changes. Then, there is no striving to live up to or become some ideal, but rather, one is kind, non-violent, creative, compassionate, courageous, etc. These qualities become the very presence of the person; it is their very being.

If you truly understand, not as an ideal or a thought or a belief, but clearly see what /ego-mentalism/ is as a fact, and how it creates divisions, objectifies, fragments, creates conflict, and leads to suffering, loneliness, and a chaotic inner and therefore outer life, no one in their right mind would continue to live with way of minding! Naturally, you would inquire whether there is a profoundly different way of living and experiencing life and optimizing your relationships with people and the world around you. This means that understanding is not merely intellectual, but is empathetic, intelligent, creative, and active. ((Understanding is action)). You can believe that everyone is interconnected, that we can be non-violent, that we can break free of /ego-mentalism/, whatever it is…but belief does not lead to integrated action. Integrated action comes from understanding, from seeing what is. And such ((action)) is, by its very nature coherent, moral, creative, and intelligent. I suggest reading Jiddu Krishnamurti’s book, The First and Last Freedom for more on this subject.

Through this awareness and understanding yourself, you begin to interact different in your relationships. Your nature of ((Being)) creates ripples and affects others. Society, the world, is not independent of you relationship between you and me, between you and other people, the world, ideas, etc.; it is the relationships we have. Understanding ourselves, our psychological process, leads to a ((transformation)) of our being, not through discipline, force, effort, control, authority, or fear, but through Self-knowledge. This ((inner revolution)) creates a change in our relationships. And if the vast network of relationships and interconnections is the world, we thereby affect the entire ((Field of Reality)). If you want to end conflict and violence in the world, end the conflict and violence in yourself. If you want to end misery in the world, end the misery in yourself. If you want to eliminate self-centeredness in the world, self-centeredness must be eliminated within yourself. No one can be forced to change, but you are responsible for creating and holding the ((space)) for a ((radically transformed Humanity)) through your own ((inner revolution)).

So, if you want to change the world, start with understanding yourself. If you want to understand yourself, become aware of how you are conducting your mind. For awareness and transformation to flourish, you must inquire whether a ((total revolution of our being)) is possible, not through force, discipline, or desiring to change, but through openness and willingness to see what is.

If these posts are helpful and interesting, please share them with others. There are links to share this on Facebook, Twitter, WordPress, and others below. Many thanks!

Related Links:

I also recommend reading the book Navigating the Mazeway: Fulfilling our Best Possibilities As Individuals and As a Society, by my good friend and colleague Tony Parrotto. A link to the book and the his website, The Mazeway Project are below:

The Mazeway Project website: http://mazeway.org

Link to my book, Meditations on Zen and Martial Arts Philosophy

Link to Last Week’s Post: On Conformity, Fear of the Known, and Discussing Matters of Life

Jiddu Krishnamurti’s Book, The First and Last Freedom – On Amazon or Online

Osho’s Book, Awareness: The Key to Living in Balance

4 Comments

December 11, 2013

On Conformity, Fear of the Known, and Discussing Matters of Life

Courtesy of http://rawforbeauty.com/blog/?s=diane+grant

A young friend of mine requested that I write on why most people in our culture, young and old, are hesitant to discuss and inquire into themselves, into life. Why this fear and uncertainty regarding matters of life? Why is it that so few people are interested to look beyond the superficial aspects of themselves and the world around them? There are many factors which can be attributed to this, and I will not attempt to try and name them all.

I highly advise reading my previous two posts to help you understand what we shall investigate together here today:

On Uncertainty:

https://jasonkunen.wordpress.com/2013/12/04/on-uncertainty/

On Interconnectedness and the Problems of our World:

https://jasonkunen.wordpress.com/2013/11/27/a-call-to-action-on-the-problems-of-our-age-we-are-as-we-mind-interconnectedness/

Education certainly plays a great role in our willingness to inquire whether there is a different way of life and understanding ourselves. If education provides an intellectually safe space where students can be open to Self-knowledge and are free to be creative and inquire into themselves, their fears, and their insecurities, then perhaps we shall have a society that is coherent, peaceful, and dialogical. Many educators are frightened of introducing controversy and dialogue on such matters, and education is reduced to memorization, the acquisition of knowledge, and learning things most students find irrelevant to their lives. But I shall not delve into that here; for that, I recommend Jiddu Krishnamurti’s book, Education and the Significance of Life. In conjunction with that, the media, from news stations and magazines to even textbooks influence our openness and wonderment. For that, I recommend Lies My Teacher Told Me. Furthermore, our culture provides all kinds of escapes through which we find temporary comfort from our fears, insecurities, loneliness and the rest of it.

Let us look at this from a broader approach. As I’ve said in my previous posts, whether you agree or disagree, like or dislike, judge as right or wrong, anything I say is not important to me nor does it help you. These words are here to act as a mirror in which you can look at yourself. I write this, not so that you have a set of beliefs to adopt or to compare your own to, but to ignite the flame of inquiry so that you can find answers on your own. Let us proceed attentively and investigate this matter together.

If we look within ourselves, it seems that most of us have accepted self-centeredness, violence, jealously, hatred, anger, escapism in one form or another, apathy, and loneliness as a way of life. Very, very few of us have attempted to understand our own psychological process and truly understand why the world is as it is. We turn to systems, methods, practices, religions, philosophies, belief systems, rituals and prayers, political and economic ideologies, science, or some other set of beliefs to give us the answers. For many, a system is imparted, conditioned, and given to us from birth, but we live with it without questioning it, or we reject as a reaction, not through understanding.

When we live according to the doctrines and ideas of another, we become second-hand, mechanical human beings. We repeat what others have said and try to justify, through our knowledge and books, that we are right. We tend to privilege our own framework and believe it to be absolute. Understandably so, for we are extremely frightened of the giving up all that we know. Even the thought of giving up one’s grand narrative, the story we tell ourselves about who we are, etc., is frightening. We enjoy living with the illusion of psychological comfort by clinging to our thoughts, memories, systems, and experiences. It is not that we are frightened of the unknown, how can we fear that which we do not know?, but rather, we are afraid to give up the known.

More and more people are beginning to realize that children are natural philosophers. They are full of wonderment and inquiry when they are young. But over time, many are conditioned with answers, patterns, and systems leaving no room for questions; few can endure the tumultuous environment of school and its pressures while simultaneously keeping their interest in understanding themselves and life alive. We are pressured to conform, not only to a peer group, but to the patterns laid out by our /ego-mental culture/. And this is very tempting, because particularly as we grow into adolescents we have an increasing desire to be accepted, to be loved, to feel our existence is acknowledged; this feeling of being accepted by others gives the impression that the void of emptiness, of loneliness that we feel is fulfilled. This leads to a psychological dependency on those people to keep us satisfied.

Conformity restricts and confines us; we become conceptually imprisoned to various patterns and habits of mind. But to understand ourselves requires tremendous openness, creativity, wonderment, aloneness (not loneliness or aloneness in the typical sense of the word) and not being bound to any pattern. By ((aloneness)), I mean the willingness to question and not accept any pattern until we have found out Truth for ourselves. When I use the word “aloneness,” I’m not implying isolation in any typical sense of the word. I mean by that not being confined to any established pattern of thought that keeps one conceptually imprisoned. ((Aloneness)) is emptying oneself of /ego-mental habits and reactions/, and having the ((courage)) to stand against /ego-mentalism/. Thus, many young people I feel are in deep conflict: conformity and feeling accepted by others so that we have temporary comfort from our loneliness vs. interest in understanding ourselves, which inevitably puts us at odds with others because we do not conform to their ideas, judgments, expectations, standards, and the rest of it.

Let us pause for a moment and reflect on what we said.

Our /ego-mind/ does not see or understand the interconnectedness, the relationality of all things. So, our /ego way of minding/ cuts us off from others because the /ego/ tries to assert its own independent space and define itself; it believes itself as a self-sustaining identity, and gives the illusion of independence from all others. In doing this, it creates a void of emptiness and loneliness within ourselves, which is what drives this incessant desire to become something else, or to become like someone else. As a way to deal with this void, many of us conform to the patterns of society, to a peer group, to this or that ideology, in order to feel like we are a part of something greater. When you conform to any pattern, you are given answers, beliefs, expectations, and standards so that you no longer need to question and inquire or understand. As we become more fixed in this pattern, we become more and more attached and psychologically dependent on it, because that becomes our /limited framework/ for understanding the world. We cling to our /identity/ and our /framework/ and are afraid of giving it up, not because we fear the unknown, but because we fear giving up and undermining all that we know.

Thus, rather than inquire to see if there is a different way of life that is free of anger, hatred, suffering, etc., we accept these patterns out of fear. Psychological comfort and attachment to our fragmented, objectifying mental operating system (our way of minding), is a primary cause of our unwillingness and fear to understand ourselves and life. Furthermore, most of us are afraid to look at ourselves and see what we actually are. It is tremendously difficult to face our anger, loneliness, fears, insecurities, desires, and all the rest of it directly. That is another reason we turn to others to give us answers or to some other activity that gives us temporary comfort. This, however, we shall take this up another time.

If these posts are helpful and interesting, please share them with others. There are links to share this on Facebook, Twitter, WordPress, and others below. Many thanks!

Related links:

On Psychological Freedom:

https://jasonkunen.wordpress.com/2013/11/20/on-freedom-reaction-vs-response/

The Mazeway Project website: http://mazeway.org

Listen to yourself and find answers, by Jiddu Krishnamurti:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9VWnf9OBpQA

On Destiny, Meaning, Purpose and Fear Part 1:

https://jasonkunen.wordpress.com/2013/11/06/on-destiny-meaning-purpose-and-fear-part-1/

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December 4, 2013

On Uncertainty

Uncertainty is a natural part of life and the human experience. Yet it seems that so many of us cannot stand uncertainty. Most things in our culture either try to guarantee certainty, or distract us from the fact of uncertainty with some form of entertainment. Even religions, belief systems, philosophy, scientists all want to give you certainty about what the world is like, what happens after death, what to do with your life, so that you do not have to face uncertainty. Why this dislike and discomfort of uncertainty?

If we look in ourselves, it would seem most of us are seeking certainty. Certainty in the job market, financially, in relationships, what to do, in our judgments, how to think…we desire to find an established set answer that is permanent, static, and definitive. Desire for certainty, however, is a side effect of our insecurity within and our desire to seek psychological security. When we approach the world with an /ego-mental/ framework, that is, a way of conducting our mind that is polarized, fragmented, and objectifies, we are operating from our conditionings and the past. An /ego-mental/ mind speaks, thinks, judges, reacts, and lives from the past; it projects the past into the present and the future. It is attached and psychologically dependent on our thoughts and memories, and wants to replicate what it knows from the past into the present; it desires certainty in the future based on what it knows from the past.

Our /ego/ sees itself as a self-sustaining, independent entity that is separate from everything else. We have a desire to control everything else according to our own nature and dispositions (based on thought and memory) because at some level, we feel we are inferior, insecure, afraid, and lonely. We feel more comfortable replicating something we already know because of fear of the unknown. So, we seek psychological comfort in trying to control others, experiences, and life itself to conform to our desires. Thus, we become obsessed with control and certainty. Certainty, therefore, is nothing other than our own inclinations that have come to fruition.

Are you following this? Perhaps an example would help. Say I am a recent graduate and want a job, and my peers have found one before me. Now for whatever reason, either pressures from family, my own conditionings, society’s expectations, or something else, I feel inferior to them because I have not yet found something. This makes me insecure about my situation because I too want to find something; I want psychological comfort, a feeling of security through finding employment so that I no longer feel lesser. This leads to frustration, anger, depression, perhaps even to jealously and hatred, because we have no control over our situation. Thus, psychological insecurity leads to my want for certainty and thereby a habit of controlling and shaping our relationships, other people, experiences, and life according to our own disposition; this inevitably breeds frustration, because such a thing is impossible. This example does not reflect my own situation, but I’m sure there are many out there, especially young people, who feel this way. I am trying to demonstrate that if you are open, interested in inquiring into yourself, and giving attention to understanding your own psychological process, that perhaps there is another way to conduct your mind that does not lead down a path of suffering and frustration, despite the situation.

Will learning to watch our fears and reactions, and breaking the mental habits that reinforce the fear of uncertainty give us psychological comfort? So long as we try to find psychological security in something outside of us, whether it’s some form of pleasure or entertainment, meditation, religion, reading, some activity, drugs, alcohol, whatever it is, we remain attached and dependent on something else. This psychological dependency leads to suffering. Once you are certain, you are stuck, static, and have reached a standstill. Meditation, prayer, ritual…all these practices are not about eliminating uncertainty and finding psychological comfort in them, but about learning to be comfortable and live with uncertainty, with what is. We can move into the unknown with openness, acceptance, and a willingness to learn from life’s experiences. We learn to watch and flow with what is, and not escape from it or try to control it. Learning to abide in uncertainty allows us to enjoy each moment, each breath. This doesn’t mean we become lazy, apathetic, or don’t try to change our situation. Rather, we are not attached to any expectation or result, and we focus on the process. We become flexible and fluid, and become aware of how to work with our situation, inwardly and outwardly.

I am not condemning our desire for certainty. We must experience it so that we can observe this mental habit and understand it. The caterpillar must experience being the caterpillar; it must go through the process of making a cocoon and wanting to feel safe and secure. But when it evolves, the very cocoon which has kept it safe for so long must be broken to be free. Our evolution as human beings is similar. We must experience being the /ego-pillar/ so that we can transform into a ((Buddhafly)). That is the journey of our existence.

Related links:

On Psychological Freedom:

https://jasonkunen.wordpress.com/2013/11/20/on-freedom-reaction-vs-response/

On the Problems of our Age, Interconnectedness and Activism:

https://jasonkunen.wordpress.com/2013/11/27/a-call-to-action-on-the-problems-of-our-age-we-are-as-we-mind-interconnectedness/

Pema Chödron’s Book, Comfortable with Uncertainty:

http://www.amazon.com/Comfortable-Uncertainty-Cultivating-Fearlessness-Compassion/dp/1590300785

Global Philosophy, talk by Ashok Gangadean:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ODCfj0rV6DY

The Mazeway Project website: http://mazeway.org

Link to the book, Navigating the Mazeway:

http://www.amazon.com/Navigating-Mazeway-Fulfilling-Possibilities-Individuals/dp/0874260701

Link to my book, Meditations on Zen and Martial Arts Philosophy:

http://www.amazon.com/Meditations-Zen-Martial-Arts-Philosophy/dp/1105797317

6 Comments

October 24, 2013

On the Nature of Happiness

One aspect common to all human beings is that we are all searching for happiness. Each person looks for it in their own way. Many people take up mindless activities that think make them happy, but do they really? Religions try to help their followers find happiness. Parents want their children to be happy. The U.S. Declaration of Independence states that we have the right to pursue happiness. The question is, do we ever reach anything? Does the search for happiness ever become anything more than a search? That is, do we ever finally attain happiness; does the searching ever come to an end?

Before we look directly at the nature of happiness, we must first look at why we need to search at all. Everybody wants happiness, but have you taken the time to look at the nature of the search and what prevents happiness? Have you ever thought why we are searching for it in the first place? Don’t base your answer off the conclusion of anyone else: your textbooks, your religions, your philosophies. Observe this question for yourself. Let’s explore this together.

A search implies that what we’re looking for isn’t here, it is elsewhere. Since we believe that goal is elsewhere, we go looking for it. But is happiness elsewhere? Can it be said to be found anywhere? What makes us think happiness is not here already? It is self-consciousness isn’t it? We are self-conscious, always looking at the image of ourselves instead of really being ourselves. We use a mental framework, a way of conducting our mind that objectifies and fragments. This is how self-consciousness arises. Instead of being immersed in experiencing the flow of everyday life, we construct an image of ourselves and watch that image move through life. This causes a split between the image (created out of past experiences and conditioning), which is static, and our actual experience of life, which is flowing, changing, and moving. We use this image to evaluate our mental states, and therefore we separate from them. In other words, to be self-conscious is to evaluate the image one has of oneself (out of fear). To do this, we must step back from what we are currently experiencing and judge it. By doing this, we are no longer experiencing that mental state, we have separated from it. We might be immersed in some activity and feel happy, but when we become self-conscious, we separate from that experience; from this standpoint, we are no longer immersed in happiness, but looking at a picture of it.

If we follow the logic, this would mean that happiness comes when our self-consciousness fades. Self-consciousness is a result of using a mental framework that cuts itself off from everything else, and takes itself as the center. We are self-conscious because of fear, but I shall take this up in another post. This self-centered (literally and metaphysically) way of conducting our mind has been given all kinds of names from various religions and philosophies: sin, samsara, hell, ego-mentalism, evil, demons (in Descartes’ Meditations, Buddhism, et al.) and so on. It is a technology of mind that believes itself to be the center, and is convinced that it can stand totally on its own; that it is independent of all things. It believes itself to be a self-sustaining identity. The more we are immersed in this kind of ego-mental thinking, the more we feel lonely and isolated. We are interconnected with and through the entire ((Infinite Field of Existence)), or ((Reality)), and we try to cut ourselves off from that and everything else.

So, if using this kind of mental software so to speak gives rise to self-consciousness, which in turn leads to psychological suffering (in this case being separate from happiness), what then can be done? Most people try to escape their thoughts of self-consciousness through mindless activities where one loses one’s sense of self. Drugs, sex, television, and essentially anything else can become an escape from this. Why? Because one has the potential to lose this ego-self in any activity. Performed at a level of high awareness, any activity can become beautiful, an art form. But if an activity is used as an escape, it becomes ugly, corrupted. One’s happiness now depends on something else; it is a crutch for your suffering. The martial artist, for example, practices totally, and for the love, joy, and passion of the art. But if he or she uses it as a form of psychological escape, it loses its beauty, and you cannot enjoy it with your whole being.

So, most people find an escape in which to lose their self-consciousness for a while, only to return back to their suffering later. What is required is an inner transformation, at the level of the mental software or technology of mind we are using. That is why Buddha taught the Four Noble Truths. Many people misinterpret Buddhism to be about suffering and negativity. But how can we understand happiness if we are ignorant about the nature of suffering and what prevents happiness? Without going into detail about them here, the Four Noble Truths of Buddhism help others understand suffering, its causes and conditions, so that they can then also understand happiness and how to eliminate suffering (on a psychological level). If we are to actually be happy then, we must look within and transform the way we are conducting our mind.

As we become less and less self-centered, more in touch with the other people and the world around us, and able to become aware of our conditionings, we find that happiness has been here all along. That is why so many wisdom teachers have said that by helping others we also help ourselves. We are not separate, independent entities, but are all connected. The more you take care of others, the more you take care of yourself and become happy. The more self-centered and ego-oriented you are, the more you create suffering for yourself, cut yourself off, and become lonely.

Letting go of fear and self-consciousness, we can relax in the moment; we can be happiness. Or more accurately, happiness is us. Therefore, real happiness arises when we make peace with others, with nature and the world, and also make peace with ourselves. Self-consciousness can be used as a tool and can have some uses, but it has become stronger and has taken over our minds. We certainly have a right to pursue happiness, but it is our nature to be happy, and that is our birthright.

Don’t believe any of this just after reading it, but really observe, inquire, become aware. Find the answer for yourself. I’m not looking for agreement or disagreement. The author could be all wrong, but most important is not to accept any given answer and to find an answer for oneself through observation, awareness, and critical insight.

7 Comments

Tag: suffering